Monday, July 04, 2005
"my teammates ran the last lap with me, even though i was the slowest. the chanting helped. (i wont reveal the contents of the chant) but it helped. i felt that sudden burst of anger, determination n strength as the chant seeded itself into my head. nothing else mattered anymore. just to fight n fight.
thoughts of jac, dawn, shoe, my teammates n haoxia streamed thru my head.. keeping me alive, biting my every fibre of aching muscle. i wanted to give up half way.. i really did. then lyanna said "this is the worst time to give up. your last lap.. c'mon!"
"Pain is good." yep, i said it myself. i have to live by it now. there's always water n deep heating cream waiting at the end of the track. my only problem is getting there. but I've gotten there before.I won't falter, not when my entire team is more motivated than ever. the least i can do is stay in there with them but it's no longer the time to just "stay in there". i'll have to do everything i can from now on.
i didn't blog abt what haoxia said on sat. (macritchie talk) i still won't talk abt it here but all i can say is that now, I'm damn clear where i want to go. no doubt, it'll be an uphill race for now.. but hey, i've sprinted the uphills before. i did it. i can do it again.
n yanneng was telling abt this one episode with hx that she had not too long ago, when she started paddling T1 again.. felt strangely moved by that. even with everything changing from now on, i think what shoe said wud still hold thru, "as long as u show u try, u have nothing to be scared of."
let's jia you n give it our best shot. we can do it.
"as long as we try, you won't give up on us right?"
"as long as you try." - haoxia. "
that was about a year ago.. when the seniors just left, when we were pretty much on our own. till this day, I still remember the contents of the chant; the part of the track when yenzhi n lyanna, nadia n yiling started running with me... so much can change within a year, yet so much can still remain the same.
my dear hcanoegurls. as long as we try. :) keep fighting.
Chellie fought the waves at 2:00 PM
